Looking Back

This week I've been praying for God to re-affirm His calling on my life to go overseas. It's been so long since He called me and since I started pursuing overseas ministry that I've forgotten that passion and calling a little bit. In this praying and seeking, God has re-affirmed His calling to me in many ways, which has been so cool to see Him orchestrate everything to answer my prayer! This last weekend I visited my best friend from high school and my grandparents. God made it very clear to me that He does not need me in order to accomplish His work in their lives, giving me kind of a release to go and leave that ministry in His hands (where it's always been anyway). My grandpa also randomly told me that I'm called to go overseas, something he's been against me doing up until this point. Coincidence or God's affirmation?? Hmm... Then today I've been looking back in my past journals to see God's working in my life and calling of me to go overseas. Here is a journal prayer from Oct 28, 2009 in response to Esther 7-8:

God, you not only used Esther to save the Jews, you also brought many people to you through this. You are God of the nations, and your desire is that all will come before you in worship. I am so excited to be a part of the nations bowing at your feet! You have renewed my passion and excitement for going overseas long term! Thank you! For awhile, I just shut down and learned to be content with where you had me, which caused me to continually put away the passion you've given me to serve you overseas. Thank you for teaching me through that to be content with wherever you place me. Thank you also for opening my eyes to all the ministry opportunity around me here locally. Thank you for teaching me to wait on you and trust you. Thank you for expanding my view and understanding of you. Thank you for making me deal with some of the realities involved with leaving home. For the sake of your name, your kingdom, and your glory, though, those sacrifices pale in comparison. Continue to show me that. Thank you for impressing on my heart in the last 24 hours that you placed a call on my life a few years ago to participate in overseas ministry on a long term basis and that this [Journeyman] is finally the opportunity you've given me to obey that call! Thank you for directing me through my thoughts and emotions and my friends toward pursuing Journeyman and dropping out of the ISP winter trip. Thank you for the clarity you've given me just in the last 24 hours. You've filled me with excitement, anticipation, joy, and eagerness to go! Thank you so much! It's worth waiting on you, and I don't even know all the reasons why you've had me wait yet! You are awesome!