How People Change 10

This chapter opened my eyes to a lot of things/people that I have blamed and still blame for my own sin. It has become more real to me as I've been aware of our tendency to blame other things and have noticed it in myself and other people since reading this chapter.

Saturday, I was studying at the coffee shop that I used to work at, and there was a couple sitting next to me, who I assume were on a first "date" through an online dating deal. In my opinion, they were sharing far too much with each other for a first date (if they were even on a date!), but a lot of what they discussed was their previous relationships and how it was always the other person's fault that the relationship ended up badly. As I overheard the bits and pieces of the story of their lives, this chapter played itself out in front of me. 

We just don't like to admit our own sin! It's always someone else's fault. We always use the phrase, "well, if only..., then I would've responded differently or I would be different". Sadly, this is a lie. But it's a good one that Satan has gotten a lot of people to believe. Let us be aware of this lie and be honest in dealing with our sin biblically.

 

Chapter 10: Thorns 2—Why Do You Get Entangled?

Diagnosing the Real Problem

BLAME:

1.     Other people

a.     “Blame-shifting is the most natural and comfortable explanation for our sin…” (131).

2.     Family of origin

a.     Blame on our past

3.     I’ve had a bad day

a.     “…my real problem is the difficulties of life” (132).

4.     My body made me do it

a.      Lack of sleep, etc.

A Word of Caution

“These explanations for our sinful responses…all focus on externals” (133).

Our shallow solutions to these externals:

Other people- avoid them or change them

Family of origin- stay away from them and find someone to “re-parent” me

Bad day- find people who will comfort me

Unmet needs- find people or things that will fill up what is lacking in me

My body- get more sleep

These solutions are not real solutions. They only scratch the surface or put a band aid on the real issues. And they “bypass the centrality of the gospel. Christ is either unnecessary or just one part of the solution” (134).

“We must make the important distinction between the occasion for sin and the ultimate cause of sin. This will determine what you think the solution to your problem will be. It will also determine who will receive glory…you or Christ! If your problem is ultimately outside you, Christ is not needed. The opportunity to experience the love, grace, and power of Christ is replaced by something else” (133).

What Is Your Biggest Problem?

The problem is us!

“When we rightly identify the source of our problem [US], we are on our way to a solution that celebrates the grace of Christ” (134).

“Ultimately, my real problem is a worship disorder” (134).

The Law and the Heart

When we disobey the first 3 Ten Commandments, we open ourselves to disobey #4-10 because God is not in the rightful place in our lives.

Good Things Morphing into Ultimate Things

We often take something good and build our lives around them. “God the Creator has been replaced by something in creation. When these good things become functional gods, they become idols” (139).

“They are blessings to be given and received with thanks. But when they become ultimate goals, they become very destructive” (140).

An Example from James

James 4

“…understanding our heart’s idolatry opens the door for us to appropriate and apply the gospel….When we see our Thorns, they help us detect our idols, our specific God-replacements, and our ruling desires. We see where our hearts need transformation, and we are led to hunger and thirst for grace” (141).

“God is zealous to recapture our affections, so the Holy Spirit works to reclaim our hearts. Isn’t this amazing? Most spurned lovers would not pursue the unfaithful spouse, but God pursues you. If you are his bride, he will not let you wander forever. He may allow difficult things in your life to regain your attention, but he is willing to do it to be foremost in your life again” (142).

“Look at what you’ve allowed to become more attractive to you than the Lord….Exchange your sinful responses for godly ones. It is all by grace, but that does not mean we are passive! Christian growth is warfare. It is worth doing the hard work of discovering what leads us away from this glorious God” (142).

X-ray Questions

p. 142-145 read and pray through!!!

Discovering what good things have become gods in our lives help us see how truly lavish the grace of God is (145).

“It is frightening to let go of something we are convinced is our life—even when the alternative is Jesus! Our hearts are so often captivated by paltry God-replacements that matter to us more than the true God. When we start to see this, it is the beginning of change and the pathway to freedom” (145).

In this examination/discovery process, “don’t lose sight of your union with Christ and God’s promise to patiently love you and change you!” (146).