Being a Mary in a Martha World

Planning. Scheduling. Future. Time. Task. 

All of these words make me squirm. They're very uncomfortable words for me, actually.

They didn't used to be. They used to be words I thrived on. They used to be words I prided myself in. They used to be words that characterized me and words I was known for. 

But not now. 

And I'm confused... and so is everyone else who knew the person I was. 

This past week, I've realized that Americans plan in advance and schedule things long before they actually happen. I've realized that if you're not on their planner several weeks in advance, you don't have much of a chance. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this; I recognize it as a cultural difference-- not something good or bad. But, I don't know how to function in this kind of society. I've been trying-- legitimately trying-- but failing over and over again. It overwhelms me to think about several days from now, let alone several weeks from now. It overwhelms me to think about what I'm doing tomorrow, to be honest with you. Today is all I know, and today is all I'm comfortable thinking about and planning for. Unfortunately, I'm no longer in a world that functions that way. This has been one of the most frustrating things for me this past week.

Then this morning, God encouraged me with the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10. We're all familiar with this story. Martha was busy making preparations for Jesus being in her home, while Mary was sitting at His feet, listening to HIs word. God clearly told me that this is the rub I find myself in. My whole life, I've been a Martha-- in a Martha world. And I've prided myself in that. Yes, I've always "wanted" to be a little more like Mary, but did I really? I don't think so. Then, Southeast Asia happened. Or, should I say, God in Southeast Asia happened. 

When I first moved to Southeast Asia, the hardest part of the culture for me to adapt to was the Mary mentality. Asians are very relational, and time doesn't hold much relevance to them. They are present-oriented and don't think much about the future nor plan much past today. That drove me crazy when I first got there! Apparently, God changed me a lot, though, in living in that culture. I didn't realize how much He changed me in these areas until I got back to the states, specifically until this past week. 

He made it clear this morning that He has changed me into a Mary the past 2 years. I find I can no longer function as a Martha, even though I'm in a Martha world. I came to love and crave sitting at His feet, just being, just listening to HIs word, just pouring out my heart to Him. I came to delight in abiding in Him, in just being in His presence. And I came to cherish relationships without being rushed to get to the next task. I asked Him today if part of adjusting back to this culture had to involve becoming a Martha again. I don't want to be a Martha again, but I'm finding it very hard to function in a Martha world as a Mary.

Here's what He told me…

• I commanded you to abide in Me (Jn 15). Only then can you bear fruit.
• I commended Mary for sitting at My feet listening to My Word while rebuking Martha for being busy with tasks

Kingdom advancement happens in the context of relationships, the primary one being the relationship we have with our Father. God, give me grace to continue being a Mary in a Martha world. Give me grace to extend to the Marthas all around me and help me not to sit in judgment over them, realizing that you loved Martha just as much as you loved Mary. Remind me that I was Martha at one time, and that I'm far, far from perfect. Remind me that you're the One who changed me to be more like Mary-- it was nothing I did. May I sit humbly at your feet, listening to you, as I continue figuring out what it looks like to live in this culture.