A Smattering of Thoughts

I'm reading through Romans right now, quite possibly my favorite book in the Bible (if you're allowed to have favorites!). Today I read chapters 8-11, quite possibly my favorite chapters in my favorite book. After marveling at God's sovereignty and mercy from chapters 8 and 9, I read these verses from chapter 10: "How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher? How will they preach unless they are sent? Just as it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!'" (v. 14-15).
I'm getting ready to leave concentrated lostness. People who haven't heard. Ever.

I know that God is far bigger and greater and more powerful than me and that He works with or without me, and therefore, I know that He will continue to be at work in this place and will continue to send people here to proclaim His good news of salvation to them. But it's hard for me to leave. It's hard thinking that I won't get to be a part of it for the next few years (at least on the ground). I know I belong in Asia. I know I'll be back because I know that's where He's leading me, but facing the reality of me not being on this continent for a few years, at least, is painful and sickening and brings tears to my eyes.

What about the people in my old city? My heart breaks for them. The last 2 visits there, I've barely been able to ride public transportation through the city without crying. At our meeting a couple weeks ago, we saw slideshows of faces and places that still need Jesus, many of them from my old city and province. Watching those videos was like ripping my heart out. How can I enjoy such LIFE in Christ while these people live in death? How can I revel in the HOPE He's given me while they are stuck in a cycle of hopelessness? How can you?

What will we do about it? What will you do about it?

Are we afraid to ask God what He wants us to do? Are we afraid He'll tell us like He told the disciples, "Follow Me"? With no conditions attached. With no explanation. At the cost of everything. Losing everything for the sake of Christ. In light of eternity, what do these few years on earth really mean anyway? What are they really worth other than living to proclaim His name to the nations who haven't heard? Or as the catechism puts it, to enjoy God and glorify Him forever. A life not lived in obedience to Christ to the ends of the earth is a life wasted. He created us to declare His glory to all of creation, He saved us to worship Him, and He kept us on earth to proclaim His glory and salvation to all who haven't heard yet.

And then one glorious day, we will be gathered around the throne, singing with people from all nations, tribes, tongues, "Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing" (Rev 5:12).

Isn't that worth any loss on earth? Any sacrifice?

Are you willing to ask God the question of what He wants you to do? Are you willing to put the blank check of your life on the table before Him? With no strings attached?

Am I?