New Year's Post

As I look backward and forward, I realize one thing (well more than one, but one that I will boil all the rest down to)—God is faithful. I know that sounds cliché, and I’ll admit, that many times when I say it, I say it out of a mediocre spirit. But this past week, God has enabled me to speak into people’s lives from my past who are now encountering similar hardships I’ve already gone through. It has been so refreshing to look back and see what God really has delivered me from, how far He’s brought me, and what my life could have been like if He hadn’t rescued me. As many of you know, I struggled through an eating disorder the latter part of high school and the early part of college. It was a dark, dark time in my life that no words can adequately describe, but the contrast that God’s marvelous light and freedom has been is equally indescribable. His relentless pursuit of me alone is why I am still here today and why I am passionate about His name, His glory, His kingdom, and the nations. As I have met with my friend this week on a couple occasions, whose daughter is now struggling with an eating disorder, God has brought me through a time of grateful reflection of all that He has done in my life. He truly worked a miracle in setting me free from that struggle! I honestly don’t know how anyone can overcome an eating disorder without the Lord. He alone is responsible for getting me out of that. And now, He is using me to help others through the same thing! Wow, God, you do have a purpose in everything! Thank you for your faithfulness and relentless pursuit of me!

Not only have I looked back on the last 4-5 years of my life this week, I also have been reflecting on this last year. One word to describe this year: waiting. If you have had any conversation with me this past year, this word probably came up! From Scripture, I know that waiting on the Lord is invaluable. In the midst of all this waiting, it has been hard, I’m not going to lie. But at the same time, I’m already seeing some of God’s purposes in having me wait. He has cleaned me out of a lot of junk in my life, namely pride. He has changed my perspective on missions, stripping me down to a willingness to go anywhere and serve anyone for the glory of His name. He has stripped me of more of my ingrained American Christianity, showing me who He is, who He desires the church to be, what discipleship looks like, and what He intends His kingdom to be. He has also shown me the many blessings He has given me during this waiting period, including spending extra time at home with my family (especially my Grandma), enjoying extra time in Riverside with my friends, church, and community, and being stretched to be bold for Him stateside before I intend to do the same overseas. Boldness has been the main lesson God has taught me this year during this waiting time. Still have a long, long, long way to go! Again, thank you, God for your faithfulness and patience with me.

Par t of New Year’s is not only looking back on the past year but also looking forward to the next year. I am giddy with excitement over what God has planned this coming year! It makes my heart race just thinking about it! To look back and see how He has dramatically changed me into a completely different person in the last 5 years makes me so eager to see what He’s going to do in the next 5 years. This next year could take me across the world for a significant period of time. Or it could leave me in Riverside. Wherever God takes me this year, I know it will be an adventure, at times painful, but overall, joyful, and I am so excited! God, I look forward to seeing your faithfulness in a different light this coming year!